THIS IS DIVORCE NOT DESTRUCTION...a letter to her parents....
"...These are completely my thoughts I'm sending to you. I made it very clear to both of you that I am NOT ever going to pick sides. With that said, this whole message is NOT directed towards just one parent so please please, please don't think I'm attacking you in any way!
I want to start out with saying that I love you both and this situation or any other situation will never change that. I've honestly been a little discouraged about how you've acted towards each other. It's not a secret to me that you two send nasty texts back and forth. It's disappointing to see two of the biggest Christian role models in my life act this way towards each other. I think WE ALL need to remember our ultimate goal: to spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven. NOT to win an argument, the business, or more money. So please show love to one another in the way you communicate. Just saying but there should not be any of those texts that you don't feel ashamed of yourself enough to copy all of your children on it! Another thing you two should do is pray for one another. This goes along with the God is Love theme. If you are actively doing this instead of wishing harm upon the other then you will naturally be more loving and merciful in the way you act towards them. Lastly, please remember THIS IS DIVORCE NOT DESTRUCTION!!!!! The last thing I want to see after all this is a "winner".
THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION!!!! My personal end goal for this is that we have 2 parents who are divorced but not depressed, they both have a nice house, they both are not financially struggling to any extent, and they can remain cordial! If either of you are currently working on or have an end goal different than that it's selfish desire talking not what either of you expressed to us that you wanted at the beginning of all this, which I hate to say it, would make you a liar. "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:26).
Furthermore, I have enough understanding of the court system to know the reputation of attorneys. They will purposely get their client emotionally heated so that they will file more charges; therefore, paying more money.
I'm tired of being coerced by either one of you to pick your "side" (whether you purposely meant to do it or not)! I've talked about this to Emily (Hastings) and it's no secret that I'm exactly in the middle. I have the most pressure on me to pick a side. Not to mention, I'm the oldest so I have to set an example.
IM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN NO MORE TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS FROM EITHER ONE OF YOU ABOUT THE DIRTY DETAILS OF THIS DIVORCE!!!! In my opinion, the parent that tries to convince the child to love them while saying the other parent is nasty, is NEVER going to be the one that ends up growing a tighter bond with their child. Children naturally want to be around the parent that doesn't bad mouth the other parent. You have to realize that divorce is awful for kids. Yes, it's awful for you but it's that much worse for us.
Please apply these things to your act within this situation! If you do that THIS DIVORCE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE DIRTY!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY 2 CHRISTIANS CANNOT HAVE A CORDIAL PARTING!!!! I'm not mad at either of you if I sound heated! I cannot express that enough! I love you BOTH infinitely and there's nothing you could ever do to change that!!! (Please remember that since I love you both that when you hurt the other person in any of your charges you are therefore hurting all of your children who love that parent).
I just want to say again I am not attacking EITHER of you and I love you both!!!!